I’ve always been a simple girl, when I was younger I never questioned my sexuality, I didn’t really care. I always knew I was attracted to every gender but I didn’t feel the need to tell anybody, I was the little perfect Algerian girl and I was 10, what would I say anything? Anyway when I entered middle school I started to change and obviously my father wasn’t really pleased. I started doing my makeup and obviously I was an emo kid so for my father I really wasn’t the perfect little girl I was before; and it’s really important for later.
When I was 13 I got my first girlfriend and we stayed together for a year and a half. I never talked about it to anybody and nobody ever asked about my relationship status so I never had to talk about it anyway.
During the last year of middle school half the school thought I was bi and they kept coming to me to ask. I didn’t have a lot of friends at school so I just denied and hoped they would stop asking. They stopped pretty quickly and I lived my middle school life normally for the few last months until graduation.
When I entered high school I was still an emo kid and I met a girl who was in my class. She quickly became my best friend, and my girlfriend. We were really open about it so everybody knew and it was fine, being in an art school can mean you are with open- minded people. We stayed together only 2 months, and we both got boyfriends almost immediately after. He was my first boyfriend but I won’t talk about him any further.
I got a boyfriend a year after, we stayed only 3 months together because his friend hated me. Then I got my last boyfriend again a year later and this relationship was pretty much chaotic.
I’ve been single since February 2018 and I tried to meet people and maybe find a girlfriend but most girls I met were straight.
I’ve been open about my pansexuality for almost 2 years. Before I just said I was lesbian or bi, I seriously didn’t care and my answer depended on my relationship. I didn’t take myself seriously until I got involved in arguments about LGBTQ+ issues.
My family knows about it and don’t care either. The only one who doesn’t know is obviously my father because, as I said before, I’m already less than nothing for him. When your father tells you you’re a rebel (in a wrong way), you dress like a sex worker (I don’t understand what’s wrong about sex workers but that’s what my father told me), you will die soon and other horrible stuff like this, you don’t really want to tell him you’re not straight.
Anyway I live with my mother and she couldn’t care less. When I told her, it was in the middle of a discussion and we never talked about it after, because we didn’t need to and I’m really happy about it.